Hey followers! I’m developing this blog further in hopes of using it more in the future. I’ve moved to:
I would love to have you join me over there 😀 I’ll still keep this site up, but I probably won’t be posting here anymore, at least not for the time being. Thank you for following so far. You all know how to make a girl feel special! Happy Resurrection Day!!!
The last few nights, as I’ve bathed Josiah and dressed him before bed, I can’t help but revel in his little banged up legs.
They tell of climbing mountains, traversing rocky paths, conquering giants…a little boy on an amazing journey to becoming a man. Childhood at its finest.
I think of the days when scrapes, cuts, and bruises only slowed me down enough to get iodine and bandages applied (If you’ve ever had iodine poured on an open wound, you KNOW pain). My friends and I built bike ramps out of scrap wood and cinder blocks, roller-bladed down steep hills, and ran barefoot across steaming concrete and grass full of bees. It was glorious and so worth the pain. I wonder if I’ll ever feel as alive as I did then.
Looking at Josiah’s knees makes me wonder at what point in our lives do we start avoiding pain. Somewhere between bruised shins and adulthood we learn to pad ourselves from or totally avoid all sorts of hurt. Not everyone of course, but I would venture to guess that most adults don’t run barefoot across hot gravel willingly.
But there are so many things in life worth enduring pain. Ask any woman who has endured labor to birth her beautiful children. Ask the athlete who won the gold, the doctor who endured medical school and saved a life, the couple that overcame the odds to restore a broken marriage, the cancer patient who endured treatments and survived, the dad with calloused hands who works day in and day out to provide for his family, the family who intervenes in the life of a drug addicted loved one. Nothing worth having comes with ease.
“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2, NASB).
The joy set before Him is YOU. Jesus endured the cross to save YOU, ME, and anyone who is willing to come to Him in faith. Romans 3:23 tells us that we’ve ALL sinned. We all need a savior, and despite the ultimate pain of taking our sin upon Himself and being separated from His Holy Father, Jesus died a criminal’s death for us. With His death, He said that we are worth the pain.
As we enter this holiday weekend, let us not forget how deeply Jesus hurt for us. His longing for our redemption led Him to crucifixion. Having His children for eternity was worth our Father’s heart breaking.
But that isn’t the end of the story. Praise be to God, Jesus overcame the grave! Pain wasn’t the end, but the avenue to LIFE. “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?…But thanks be to God! He gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:55, 57, NIV).
You can have life in Christ, and if you don’t, I beg you to seek Him. It may not be easy to open up your heart for God to change and heal you, but He can free You from your fear. He will sustain you through trial. He will save you from eternity in Hell. Life is full of pain, but LOVE and LIFE are worth the risk. Won’t you come? Surrender your heart, share in Jesus’ death, and be raised to life with Him!
If you need help finding life in Jesus, I will walk with you. Please don’t be afraid to ask. If you know someone who hasn’t met the Savior, please share this message with them. And have a blessed Resurrection Sunday!
I have a confession to make. I am NOT a religious Christian. I hear some people saying, “It’s not a religion; it’s a relationship.” I feel ya on that, but it’s becoming evident to me that God commands up to pray without stopping and to write His words on our hearts for a reason. We need to keep coming back to Him, being reminded who He is and who we are to Him.
I do not believe that we should read our Bibles like a daily chore, but I do believe we need to be in the Word daily. That seems contradictory, but our faith will starve if we don’t feed it.
This conviction is fresh and far more apparent to me than it has been in the 17+ years of following Christ. I have always been a person has to understand why something works before I’m willing to accept it. God is patient with this stubborn child. He’s showing me the why…
We have moved into a new neighborhood, and the drive to reach out to the families around us is strong. However…I feel myself pulling back. Why don’t I tell people that they are sinners in need of a Savior? I really started pondering that question, and I had a real come-to-Jesus-meeting with, well, Jesus. I asked myself and sought God in prayer…”Do I not believe they are going to go to Hell if they don’t come to Christ? Because if I really believed that, wouldn’t I be more compelled to tell them about Christ and beg them to come to Jesus? If I do believe, do I not love them enough to share Christ? Do I not care if they go to hell?” Wowza. Talk about a conversation to knot your stomach.
Fast forward to today when I was having a discussion with a friend about a doctrine we disagree on, and I couldn’t refute what she was saying. I know what I’ve believed most of my life. I even know there are scriptures to support it. But I wasn’t ready. Again with the knotted stomach.
Friends, I have been a Christian for almost two decades. I have read through the Bible, front to back. And yet, the Bible isn’t fresh in my mind, because I don’t study it regularly. I believe in God, and I have been faithful to Him in many ways, but I’m a Christian slacker. Without those constant reminders of Truth, my convictions about what I believe and about sharing that message with others has seriously waned.
I have reasons to believe that we meet God in all sorts of ways, and being in nature is one of my favorites. However, Deuteronomy 11:18 says, “You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead” (NASB). That is not an image of a person who reads the scriptures once and then goes about his life, only communing with God in the ways he enjoys. The Bible was given to us as a gift and a command, and it should be a constant in our lives.
You want to know what is constant in my life? Eating. Sleeping. Showering. Working. Mothering. Wifing (Is that a word? I just made it a word). Facebook and Instagram (I loathe myself). Housework. Schoolwork. Reading other books.
How many life lessons is God going to have to teach me before I make [TIME WITH JESUS] a constant? So here’s a challenge for me and for anyone else out there who is a terrible Christian (Ha!)…Choose one thing that you do daily to which you can say, “Not until I read my Bible.” You know you want to do that thing that you do everyday. Use that as a catalyst for making your communion with God a habit. If you have trouble concentrating, putting the Scriptures in context, or understanding what you’re reading, grab a Bible study guide and allow it to guide you. Chances are, once you are deep into a study, your learning and growth in Christ will far surpass what the author even considered when he or she set out to write it. Just pick a starting point and go from there.
For now, I’m off to bed…but not until I read my Bible. Let’s do this thing.
I’m not going to lie, I struggled for a good part of February. Although it feels like we’ve been living in our new place for a long time, it has literally been ONE month. Since I’m amazing at adjusting to major life changes (sarcasm), it’s a wonder why I didn’t reach my goals!?!?!
1. Finish reading Acts, and read through Romans – Still working on this. I’m keeping it real when I say that I don’t read the Bible daily, though I know I should.
2. Plan and go on a good date night with Mr. Dummel Valentine’s Day 2015 was so much fun! We got massages and then had dinner at a local restaurant.
3. Practice Josiah’s memory verses with him I’m so proud of my little man. He loves learning about God, and watching him recite his verses is precious!
4. Bring a weekly meal to an elderly couple at our church
5. Look through and organize home decorations, and get rid of anything we don’t intend to use – I didn’t even attempt this one, in all honesty. I’m still processing the move. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it!
6. Make fluoride free toothpaste for Josiah
7. Finish front door monogram for my kindred spirit and sister-in-law, Leah
1. Finish reading Acts, and read through Romans
2. Visit the Indianapolis Dummels (A Show Choir Competition and a 3rd Birthday Party are on the agenda!)
3. Practice Josiah’s memory verses with him
4. Bring a weekly meal to an elderly couple at our church
5. Look through and organize home decorations, and get rid of anything we don’t intend to use
6. Get back to doing yoga more regularly
7. Work on a project to post in my Etsy shop!!!
I’m going to carry several goals over from February; some still need completed, while others are simply worth repeating. I am so looking forward to accomplishing these goals while holding on for warmer weather! Happy March!
This is the kind of night it’s been, and I feel so defeated. After almost two solid years of being a working mom, I just can’t get the hang of it. I’m mentally and emotionally drained at the end of the day, and I’ve got very little to offer the two most important people in my life. By 5 p.m. I have heard and said my limit of words for the day, but Josiah wants to SAY ALL THE WORDS.
In the midst of this season, I can’t ignore that every time I turn on Pandora, Hillsong’s “Oceans” comes on. “Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders”…I’m not sure if God is leading me to a giant leap of faith or if Jesus is just reminding me to trust Him in my everyday mess.
When it comes to parenting, my mom always says you do your best and then you pray for God to fill in the gaps. In a time when I feel like my gaps have turned into gaping canyons, I need to trust that God will hold Josiah and give me grace for all the ways I fail my child.
At the end of this gloomy day, Josiah still wanted to hold my hand until he fell asleep. God’s grace is sufficient for me.
Dear Mom,
Today, you would have been celebrating your birthday. It’s hard to believe so much time has passed that you’d be in your mid 50’s. I usually recognize your birthday, and then try not to think about it much. Avoidance has been my way of coping with your and Jamie’s “dates”…birthdays and last days. I have your tender heart, and these days are usually too much for me to dwell on.
Your suicide wrecked me, and I used to carry that burden every single day. I was supposed to be able to trust you. When I learned that you’d left me, the world became a very scary place. I didn’t trust anyone, not even God. You gave me life, but in a way, you also took it away. You thought you weren’t lovable, worthy, or needed…I wish you knew how important you were. A mother’s love and presence are one-and-only.
My story has been transformed over the last five years, though. Sitting in a church service a few weeks ago, I heard the preacher talking to the congregation about how so many of us were carrying emotional and spiritual baggage. It hit me in the best way that I can’t relate to that anymore. I was now a spectator, where I was once a serious participant. I don’t carry the weight of your life and your death anymore. I am free. Hallelujah! I have been held and healed by God, my Savior, my Rock, my Redeemer. His love is a healing balm to my heart’s greatest wound. I laid my anger and hurt and abandonment down at the foot of the Almighty. He saved me from my own sin, and He freed my heart from the consequences of yours.
I’m still sad, though, for you. No person should ever have to feel that her life isn’t worth living, but you did. You endured worse pain in your short life that I could even fathom. I grieve for you that you never had the chance to be healed by the One who speaks love and worth into your heart. I don’t know what your relationship to Jesus was, but I hope He is holding you now.
I wish you could see me now, Mom. You’ve missed so much. My grand slam in third grade, my middle school dances and the time I went to state for shot put, how I excelled in all things art and crafts (you passed that down!), my graduation from high school, my first date and first kiss (yes, they came after high school), my graduation from college where I finished #6 in my class. I did all that without you, but it wasn’t easy. I thank God for the man you married. My dad’s heart is tender, his back is strong, and despite his own heartache, he was with me every step of the way. And the woman he asked to raise me after you’d gone…boy, is she a force to be reckoned with. She’s carried the weight of your choices with grace and mercy. You see, Mom, what Satan worked in your life, Jesus redeemed at the cross. The LORD was working out my salvation long before the world began. I wish you could see what He’s done in my life through Jesus, my family, and my friends.
I know you’d be proud of your girl. I made it through. I married a man of God, and although we’ve struggled, we didn’t give up. I brought the most beautiful baby boy into the world. I was afraid I wouldn’t be a good mom because I was so broken, but if there’s one thing your life taught me, it’s that I am irreplaceable. My love for Josiah is important, worthy, and needed.
I wish we could bake you a cake today. I wish you could see Josiah, snuggle him close, and let him help you blow out the candles. He has your crazy big eyebrows and your sweet dimples. I’m sorry that you’re missing out on him. I am thinking of you today, and I hope you do see how well things worked out in my life. I hope that you have peace from the torment you endured here. I hope that my testimony about you and about Jesus can be a beacon of light to others who, like you, see only one way out of their pain. If you would have given Jesus a chance, He would have healed you, too. My birthday gift to you is my faithfulness to Christ and my commitment to tell others about His healing mercy.
Happy Birthday, Deborah Ann. You mattered. I love you still.
Love,
Felisha Joyce
We’ve just started a cold bug. I started to get that icky-sicky feeling about half way through the work day, and Josiah has definitely had the sniffles for the last few days. Obviously I’m no doctor, but I’m making an educated guess when I say it has a little (or a lottle) to do with my slacking off in the natural health department. The holidays, followed by moving, meant I dropped the ball on anything that wasn’t eating, sleeping, and going to work. Basically I made sure we didn’t die, but that was it.
There are a few things I’ve done that aided our family in being pretty stinking healthy this winter, up until now. Josiah had two viruses in December, but we know exactly where they came from…family, the people he was around A LOT. So although I wish I could have prevented those bugs, I count it a blessing that he’s been less sick this year (so far!) than in years past.
Here’s my list of super simple immunity boosters…
Taking care of yourself can be very simple, but you can’t let it slide when life gets crazy. Take my word for it! <sniffle sniffle>
This week was one of those times when I felt like all the introverting in the world wasn’t going to be enough to fill me back up. The move, school, work…everything was taking, and I could not find a way to recharge. I ended up crying in my van as I hid from the cold while the gas pump was chugging along. “God, I don’t know what to do. I need You to fill me up. I just feel so empty.”
Life is so amazing right now. Please don’t read this as I am struggling in general. Just feeling perpetually behind. But prayer is always a good idea.
As much as I felt like I needed time alone, God knew that I needed togetherness with the right people. Time spent with family in the last 24 hours has totally recharged my batteries. The right people know how to cut the small talk and get to the heart of things. It’s okay to be straight with people and say, “I’m angry/tired/frustrated/sad…even mean!” Last night I spent some time getting my meanness out, that is, telling my mom the frustrations of the last few weeks. It’s such a relief to give those negatives feelings a voice and then release them.
If you’re not feeling great about life, please open up to someone you trust, and be real. Vulnerability is scary, but you won’t regret it.
I’m a person of many words thought and written, but far fewer spoken. That’s a reflection of the mess inside my brain. I get way overwhelmed when I look at “the big picture,” but I love creating and accomplishing the tiny tidbits that lead to the larger goal.
I made a chart for myself (In Excel, because I’m a lover of spreadsheets #nerdalert). It serves to break down my bigger, ultimate goals (column headers) into more tangible, doable tasks (bullet points). You can download a Printable Goals Chart if you want to try it out. It’s not fancy, but it gets the job done. Maybe I’ll upgrade it someday when I don’t have so much else going on!
I usually print it out and hand write the bullet points, but this way was quicker, so let’s just pretend, okay? 🙂 You can print a new one daily, or do the same one for the whole month. Either way, I think it’s helpful to break it down. Those big goals aren’t so daunting that way!
I did a few posts last year with monthly goals, but they were cumbersome and overworked. I think I’m going to take a stab at something simpler.
February 2015 Goals:
1. Finish reading Acts, and read through Romans
2. Plan and go on a good date night with Mr. Dummel
3. Practice Josiah’s memory verses with him
4. Bring a weekly meal to an elderly couple at our church
5. Look through and organize home decorations, and get rid of anything we don’t intend to use
6. Make fluoride free toothpaste for Josiah (I made this one for myself, and it’s great! I believe the baking soda is what made Josiah turn his nose up. I may just edit that out and see what he thinks)
7. Finish front door monogram for my kindred spirit and sister-in-law, Leah.
Here’s ours nearly completed (I love the creative process and pictures of works in process):
I loved making the little fabric rosettes. This tutorial was excellent. Here’s one of Leah’s:
When I asked her the color scheme she wanted and then sent her a picture of the fabric options I already had in my stash to match, I think she got just as excited as I do when I’m crafting:
This picture doesn’t do the colors justice. They are just so pretty.
So what are your goals for February? I’d love to read them!
I’ve spoken about conquering fear on this page before, and I have to admit that it still has a presence in my life at times. I think most people would be lying if they said they were fearless.
Fear stands in the way of the life we want to be living. We fear failure, but I truly believe we also fear success.
I’ve wanted to write a book for years, but I was too afraid.
This is the year of doing the important-to-me things. So, I’m writing a book. I have a title, an outline, and a idea in my heart. I even have the first 1500 words. I know it isn’t much, but I took the first step.
Sharing is scary, because now I won’t be the only one who knows if I chicken out! But I’m praying this work is in God’s will. If it is, I know that He will bless it.
The first thing that writing is teaching me is how much you have to give of yourself to your work. I’ve already cried writing the first few pages, and I’m offering more of me than I expected I would. If you want to write something worth reading, you have to starting writing and keep coming back, even when it’s not the smooth ride you hoped it would be.
As I’ve said before, if you want to live the dream, you have to work hard, and then work harder.
