So, I’m Writing A Book…

I’ve spoken about conquering fear on this page before, and I have to admit that it still has a presence in my life at times. I think most people would be lying if they said they were fearless.

Fear stands in the way of the life we want to be living. We fear failure, but I truly believe we also fear success.

I’ve wanted to write a book for years, but I was too afraid.

This is the year of doing the important-to-me things. So, I’m writing a book. I have a title, an outline, and a idea in my heart. I even have the first 1500 words. I know it isn’t much, but I took the first step.

Sharing is scary, because now I won’t be the only one who knows if I chicken out! But I’m praying this work is in God’s will. If it is, I know that He will bless it.

The first thing that writing is teaching me is how much you have to give of yourself to your work. I’ve already cried writing the first few pages, and I’m offering more of me than I expected I would. If you want to write something worth reading, you have to starting writing and keep coming back, even when it’s not the smooth ride you hoped it would be.

As I’ve said before, if you want to live the dream, you have to work hard, and then work harder.

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The Quiet Before the Whirlwind

I’m sitting in my favorite chair while Josiah snoozes and the fan runs. It’s so peaceful in this tiny apartment. I should have packed more or gotten to bed earlier, but I’m being like a preschooler and resisting sleep. This week should hold a lot of wonderful things, but I know it’s going to be a whirlwind.

Dustin and I are holding onto our motto: Wait upon the LORD. Apparently, the LORD did not see fit for us to wait long for a new place to live. We are both stunned and overjoyed and thankful.

I thought that saying goodbye to our little apartment on Main St. would be hard, and I’m sure I’ll be nostalgic as we leave, but God’s timing is always perfect, and we know that we have outgrown this place.

As many people in the Bible set up altars to remember God’s faithfulness, I will call this apartment A Place of Refuge. We weathered our greatest life storm to date here, and we will never forget the LORD redeeming us from our brokenness.

Change is challenging in various ways, but we will move forward and continue to grow. I’m thankful for the people and places God gives us to love us, to teach us, and to remind us of who we are in Him.

Father, we praise You, and we thank You. To You be the glory. Amen!

A New Love

Tonight I’m thanking God for second chances. They come in all sorts of packages. Particularly, I’m thankful for another chance to care for my body.

I’ve been slowly learning about yoga, and I have found a new love. As a former “All American” type athlete, yoga is completely different and new and refreshing. It teaches how to love your body more than having a love for competition. It is slow and peaceful and wonderful.

I discovered a teacher I really appreciate this week. She offers foundations of yoga, beginner sequences, and a 30 day challenge (I did Day 1 just now). She says that one of the most important things is to just show up to the mat. I can officially vouch for that. Most of the evening I have felt like screaming. I don’t know why I fell into that emotion, but rather than turning to a bag of something sugary, I showed up to the mat. Within the first ten minutes, the screaming inside me stopped. But the end, I was communing with the LORD and thanking Him for second chances. If you are ready for a second chance of good health, I would encourage you to give yoga a shot.

My Word for 2015

I make resolutions all the time; daily, even hourly sometimes. So although I do make New Years Resolutions, they are usually just extensions of things I’ve been doing the year prior.

2 Reasons for that:

1. I make resolutions constantly because my desire to be my best self goes in direct conflict with my lack of will power.

2. You can’t live like a sloth for 6 months and then get up January 1st and expect to become a fitness expert. So although New Years Day does feel like a fresh canvas for me, ready to be painted, I’m not usually doing something brand new.

December 31, 2014, I sat and contemplated what I would declare as my “2015 New Years’ Resolution”, but nothing jumped out as definitive. I have a whole #30Before30 list that still needs finished, so there’s no shortage of goals. However, that’s not what’s holding me back. Like many other bloggers I follow, what’s defining my outlook on this new year is a word. Wait.

As in, wait upon the LORD.

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Despite all my striving and controlling and pushing and pulling, God has always been in control of the entire universe, my finite life included. If the last year taught me anything, it’s that I have no control over what is to come.

This year I want to own that truth. I want to wait and see what God has planned. Dustin and I will continue to work hard for things we believe are important for our family and the Kingdom, but we are basking in contentedness. This year, we choose gratitude for exactly where we are. And rather than striving to control the future, we are waiting to hear from God what He wants for us.

2015 could bring incredible joy or incredible sorrow, or even both. The last few months, I’ve learned what a gift the unknown can be. I don’t have to carry the weight of the future on my shoulders, because God is holding it in His mighty hands. May I spend no more energy fretting over the future, but resting in the present.

Come what may in 2015, I will wait upon the LORD.